The Art of Flirting

Many times a student will ask me about picking up women at work, or some other place where it would be inappropriate for him to 'hit on' a woman. In situations where a man doesn't want to get a 'reputation', it is much better to take a more indirect route. In other words, through careful flirting, a man can get women to advance the relationship and pick him up instead. Specifically, we will use eye contact as a means of flirting, and false barriers to get women to make the first move.

In this type of situation, we are displaying tenative interest. Tenative interest not only a great way to generate attraction, but it also creates a wonderful opportunity for some fun flirting. What you should be thinking is "I like what I see, but do you REALLY meet my standards?" Adopt this frame, and practice it next time you're interacting with a woman. I guarantee you'll get women to react a bit more favorably. They will want to meet your standards, and you'll get women qualifying themselves to you.

Great flirting requires mastery of eye contact. Here are guidelines for eye contact flirting:

1. When a woman is acting favorably to you, or you have a fun vibe happening, keep solid eye contact. In this way you reward her, and she will do more of what you like.

2. As things progress and you are alone with a woman, stick to the 70 / 30 rule. This states that 70% of the time you should be holding eye contact, and 30% of the time, you should not. This sets the stage to get women comfortable with you and ready for seduction.

3. When you are saying something funny, it's better to not seek eye contact. In this way it doesn't appear that you are looking for approval for your jokes.

4. If you are making a move physically and touching her, do not look where you are touching. This signals to her that you aren't seeking her approval for you escalation.

5. When approaching a group for the first time, and you are talking, balance eye contact throughout the various men and women in the group. The idea is to get women involved in your conversation, but at the same time you keep your interest on a tenative level. (This disarms the men and shows you are not a threat)

6. Never use your own eye contact in attempt to get women to hold eye contact with you. She should be trying to get eye contact with you more than you are with her. To do this effectively, it shouldn't be something that you focus on too much. Remember, this is flirting, and it should be fun.

Once you have the tenative interest mindset down, and are good at fliritng, you will set up a really fun vibe between you and the woman. At this point, you want to put up a false barrier to give her something to overcome.

Here are some examples of false barriers. One friend of mine is a DJ, and gets gigs at parties There are plenty of beautiful women at these parties, but he doesn't want to break the professional relationship. He can demonstrate his interest in a responsible way by saying: "Hey. I like you but you're going to get me in trouble! I have a job to do!"

Or, if an attractive woman comes up to request a song he can say something like "At first I thought you were cute, but then you asked me to play X! Can you do any better?" Again, this is flirting, and it should be playful.

In a more general work situation you can say something like: "You know, you are so adorable. Good thing we're co-workers, or else we'd be getting into all kinds of trouble." Then sit back and watch as she works like the devil to plot some 'trouble' for the two of you.

Remember, these are false barriers, and in order for them to work, you must first get women interested through your flirting. When a woman is interested enough, barriers give her just the push she needs to motivate her into making a move. So the key is, get women into your playful vibe with flirting, then playfully throw up the barrier. You'll be surprised just how easy it really is.

Vincent DiCarlo

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Vincent DiCarlo is a world famous dating coach. His experience comes from years of training pickup artists in underground seduction lairs across the East Coast. He currently runs theApproach: The Science of Social Chemistry for the Modern Gentleman, with his partner Sebastian Drake, and teaches men of all ages and backgrounds to meet, attract and seduce the most beautiful women of the world.

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